The Bum’s Rush #61

WARNING! None of the news or rumors you see here in The Bum’s Rush should be considered FACT until it actually happens. It might never happen. How do you know I’m not just making all this crap up? I could, you know. You’ve been warned!


The Amazing(ly Stupid) Spiderman

I’d warn that there are potential spoilers ahead but if you don’t read comics, watch the news, read the newspaper or have the internet, then 1) you wouldn’t (or couldn’t) be reading this column in the first place and 2) you probably live in a cave and have no idea about indoor plumbing, let alone Spiderman*. So if you are reading this then you probably already know that in Civil War #2 Spiderman revealed his true identity as Peter Parker to the world in a show of support for the Superhuman Registration Act that all the heroes are getting their panties in such a bunch over. It doesn’t make a whole lot of sense but it sure as hell made the news.

Just so you know that I’m not bashing something based solely on what I’ve read on the Internet, I did actually read Civil War #2. I also read the comics that led up to Spiderman’s monumental decision including Civil War: Frontline #1 and Amazing Spiderman #532. Even so, after all of the discussion, the reasoning and the explanations I still cannot see a single solidly logical motivation for Spiderman revealing his identity for everyone to see. If I had been presented with one I doubt I’d have a problem with this. What we got instead were flimsy excuses slung together in an effort to make sense out of something that was obviously going to happen regardless of whether it made sense or not.

I absolutely don’t buy that Peter Parker would do something like that out of loyalty to Tony Stark (a.k.a. Iron Man, who has recently taken Peter under his wing and given him those awful new duds he’s been trudging around in) because his first loyalty is to his family. I do believe that he would do it to keep Mary Jane and Aunt May from going to jail because they were accomplices. But at the same time, no matter how many times they tried to sell that one, I didn’t see it as a valid or realistic consequence of his actions. The only explanation that even came close to making sense was brought up in a recent episode of
New Joe Fridays in which Peter David said “If he openly defied the Registration Act, then he would have verified once and for all the worst things that had ever been said about him. I don't think he wanted that to happen.” But I don’t remember this one ever being brought up in any of the actual comics.

It goes back to what I talked about last week and the current trend of the big “OMFG! Can you believe we did that?” events that supercede the logical and/or natural progression of the story. For the sake of garnering nationwide (and likely worldwide) media attention Marvel has done something that, at least to me, seems to fly in the face of some 40 years of storytelling. But, according to Joe Quesada, there are other benefits from this revelation, not the least of which is that it opens up a whole new world of possible stories to tell with the character. Why, just look at what they’ve got lined up –

In Sensational Spiderman Peter will deal with consequences at the school where he works and an attack from Dr. Octopus, followed by a bunch more villains attacking him.

In Friendly Neighborhood Spiderman Peter will deal with consequences at the school where he works when Mysterio attacks him there! And probably some more villains will attack him.

Wow… the possibilities.

Seriously though, my biggest problem is not with the fact that Spiderman revealed his identity. I totally agree that it does make for some surprising comics and some interesting possibilities. What I have a problem with is the execution of the story itself, which in the end seemed more about creating a lot of noise and fireworks than telling a really good story that made sense.

*Sincere apologies to anyone who lives in a cave that happens to actually have internet access


Third Time’s Amazo?

First announced over two years ago, Kid Amazo was a 96-page hardcover written by Peter Milligan with art by Rob Haynes. The story involved a college student who learns that he is actually an experiment created by the JLA’s android adversary, Amazo and Amazo’s creator, Professor Ivo. The hardcover never materialized but the story itself recently resurfaced in the JLA Classified series as a five-part arc starting in August’s issue #26, with artist Carlos D’Anda replacing Rob Haynes.

Now, for the second time in two years Kid Amazo has been delayed for unspecified reasons. DC has announced that they are replacing the Kid Amazo with Sacred Trust, a six-part story written by
Howard Chaykin, with art by Kilian Plunkett and Tom Nguyen. Sacred Trust will focus on a rift that is created between members of the League when they are forbidden by the UN from interfering with the metahuman activities of foreign nations.

Now as jazzed as I am to read any comic drawn by Kilian Plunkett I am massively disappointed that
Kid Amazo will fail to see the light of day once again. It’s something I’ve been looking forward to since it was first announced as a hardcover back in 2004 and something I was even more excited about with the inclusion of the awesome Carlos D’Anda on art chores. Hopefully it’s merely been delayed rather than abandoned completely. Cross your fingers. Or better yet, send me a check for six million dollars so I can finish work on my own android that will attack the DC offices and force them to publish the story. I eagerly await your generous donations.


Welcome To Warriors

Howard Chaykin is a busy man. Not only is he writing the aforementioned JLA Classified story, he’s also working on a mini-series starring Green Lantern Guy Gardener which he will write and draw! The mini, entitled Guy Gardener: Collateral Damage will consist of two 48-page issues and will revolve around the damage inflicted by the Rann-Thanagar War on neighboring planets. Chaykin says that the series will also serve to completely remove Gardener from his Giffen-DeMatteis Justice League era characterization in which he was played mostly for laughs as a somewhat moronic, ill-tempered, chauvinist pig. Guy’s bar, Warriors (which has always been one of my favorite story elements) will also be reintroduced.


You Obviously Do Not Know Who You Are F***ing With!

As if all of that stuff wasn’t enough, Chaykin was just announced as the regular artist for the upcoming Blade ongoing series! The series is written by current Wolverine scribe Marc Guggenheim and will be released in September. Given that the character has not had much success maintaining a regular comic book series in the past I was a little perplexed as to why Marvel would try an ongoing again (even factoring in the upcoming TV series on Spike) without first seeing how the fans would react to a mini featuring the character. But now that Chaykin has been announced as the artist it’s obvious that this is more than just a shot in the dark. Marvel is putting some serious weight behind the comic and I wouldn’t be at all surprised to see it pay off.


Shhh, It’s A Secret

For almost a year the existence of a Superman Confidential and Batman Confidential series has gone from hot rumor, to almost certainty, to being flatly denied by DC bigwig Dan Didio and back again. Now the rumors and cover-ups have come to an end as DC has announced that the two series do in fact exist and are being prepped for release in November. The books will feature rotating creative teams focusing on the early years of Superman and Batman, specifically on important character-defining moments from their past.

Writer Andy Diggle and artist Whilce Portacio will tackle the debut Batman Confidential arc in which Batman first faces of against Lex Luthor. The initial story-arc on Superman Confidential, written by
Darwyn Cooke and illustrated by Tim Sale, will detail Superman’s first encounter with Kryptonite. Didio said that the books will maintain A-list creators at all times, something which has been promised time and again on books such as these but usually fizzles after about a year or so. It’s a nice thing to say and all but the truth is there are only so many A-list creators out there and half of them are probably under exclusive contracts with Marvel. Nevertheless, I’m still looking forward to both series.


At Least They’re Soliciting On The Net And Not Some Dirty Street Corner

DC Comics Solicitations for September 2006

Marvel Solicitations for September 2006

Image Solicitations for September 2006


The Only Comics That Matter

Last Week –
Ex Machina Special #2 by Brian K. Vaughn and Chris Sprouse

Umbra #1 by Murphy and Mike Hawthorne

This Week –
Flash: The Fastest Man Alive #1 by Paul DeMeo, Danny Bilson and Ken Lashley

Eternals #1 by Neil Gaiman and John Romita Jr.

Casanova #1 by Matt Fraction and Gabriel Ba

Next Week –
DCU: Brave New World by lots of people

Young Avengers #12 by Allan Heinberg and Jim Cheung

Soon –
Emily Edison by David Hopkins and Brock Rizy



If you know of any interesting news, rumors, lies, etc. about comics and think I should know about it too just email me at thesuperleezard@yahoo.com.

Read more dumb crap written by me at www.livejournal.com/users/superleezard.

My semi-daily webcomic, Der Wundervolle Bean, will be coming to an end soon. But you can still check it out here www.livejournal.com/users/der_magic_bean.



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